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The
Art of Coaching
The Coaching
Conversation
To Vistage speaker
Agnes Mura, who coaches and teaches coaching skills to CEOs and senior
executives, coaching is an ongoing process rather than a series of
unconnected events. She considers coaching a process because:
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It involves a
predictable progression toward an outcome.
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It has a clearly
defined structure.
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The methods are
transferable and teachable.
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It requires a
collaborative environment.
One of Mura’s
coaching tools, which she calls the “Coaching Conversation,©” consists of
five distinct steps. (Note: In this methodology, the person being coached
is referred to as the “client.”)
1.
Establish goals.
The first step involves setting short-term and long-term goals with the
client. Long-term goals include your mutual vision for the outcome of the
coaching process and should be established in the first coaching session.
Short-term goals define what should happen during each specific coaching
session. Set these each time you meet.
2.
Promote discovery.
The fundamental principle of all coaching is to promote insight and
discovery about the problem being faced as well as about optional solutions.
Your role as coach is to seek out the client’s ideas and share some of your
own -- not just tell them what to do. To promote discovery, says Mura:
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Quiet your mind and
listen beyond the words.
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Ask powerful,
open-ended questions.
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Paraphrase to show
that you understand.
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Draw out the
consequences by helping the client think aloud about what might happen if
they undertake various courses of action.
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Share your own
personal experiences as they relate to the issue at hand.
“In particular,
listen for the emotions, because feelings play a big role in the
decision-making process. They also tell you how the client really feels
about what they are saying,” advises Mura. “Also, pay close attention to
nonverbal cues. In a conversation, words constitute less than ten percent of
the total communication. The rest comes from the client’s body language and
tone of voice.” It is important to linger in this discovery step and not
rush into action planning until the issue and the optional solutions have
been evaluated. Leaders are “activists” and tend to rush through this
reflective stage.
3.
Determine a course of action.
Once the problem is better understood and some optional solutions have
been studied, in this third step the coach guides the development of an
action plan and helps to define the parameters to guide actions. “In this
step, the coach invites the client to identify what action they will take,”
explains Mura. “For example, you might ask questions like, ‘Where should we
go from here? Where would you like to begin? What do you think you should do
next? What are you going to do about this?’ You should feel that you have
stopped exploring and have begun moving toward the creation of an action
plan.”
This involves:
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Clarifying the
desired outcome
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Dividing large
projects into smaller, more manageable pieces
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Identifying
boundaries and resource parameters that will affect the planning, such as
budgets, available resources, timelines and milestones
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Determining how the
actions to be taken will fit within the client’s life or organizational
context and setting a target date for completion. Specificity makes this
step most valuable.
4.
Authorize and empower.
In step four, the client needs to know they have your full support. Help
them identify any potential obstacles and ways to remove or get around them.
This proactively eliminates any excuses the client may have for not
following through on the action plan. It also gives the client confidence
they can do it. Finally, let the client know you will provide whatever
support he or she needs to accomplish the action plan’s objectives.
5.
Recap.
Ask the client to review what you have covered in the coaching session.
Then get clear agreement on what the client has committed to, when he or she
will do it and the expected outcome. Next, reaffirm your approval of the
action plan and any steps you have agreed to take to support it. Finally,
and most importantly, have them reflect on what they learned for the future.
“The client must do
the recap, not you,” cautions Mura. “Otherwise, you can walk away with very
different ideas about what occurred during the session and what is supposed
to happen afterwards. If you find a discrepancy, back up and repeat steps
three and four until you both are in agreement. And above all, don’t forget
to harvest the long-term insights that this problem solving exercise has
generated for them.”
“This coaching
conversation allows you to stay focused, even on the most difficult issues.
It is predictable, it makes the client feel safe, and -- most important --
it helps them accept the accountability needed to achieve their goals.”
Key Coaching
Skills
Five basic steps.
Sounds easy, right?
Not so fast,
cautions Mura. Although the process may seem simple, the skills required to
implement it are not. Effective coaching demands a high-level ability to be
present in the moment and stay closely attuned to the client’s needs and
perceptions. It also requires a package of interpersonal skills that take
time and practice to acquire. These skills include:
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Contextual listening.
Listen beyond the words and pay close attention to tone of voice, body
language and other nonverbal communication.
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Gap bridging.
Coaches clarify where the client is and where they need to go, then
identify what they need to do to close the gap between the two. All
coaching is about bridging gaps.
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Discovery
questioning.
Good coaches ask open-ended questions that come from a non-expert
position. They don’t pretend to have the answers. If the client seems
stuck, it may be appropriate to bring your answers into the conversation.
If so, always present them in a generous rather than a judgmental
framework.
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Truth-telling.
As a coach, you will often be called upon to name the “white elephant” --
the things that are really going on in the conversation that the client
can’t or won’t identify. “Coaches must tell the truth, even when it feels
uncomfortable,” states Mura. “This doesn’t mean attack the client.
Instead, lay reality out on the table for both of you to see.”
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Celebrating.
A large part of your role involves affirming and celebrating the client’s
strengths, insights and accomplishments as you move through the process, a
leadership skill insufficiently practiced yet vital to learning.
“The hardest part
for most CEOs is learning to listen,” says Mura. “Ideally, the coach should
talk 20 percent of the time and the client 80 percent of the time. CEOs also
have a tendency to jump in and solve the problem for the client, which
defeats the whole purpose of coaching. Keep in mind that your job is to help
the client identify and explore the implications of possible solutions, not
to provide them.
“Also, beware of
persuading and asking too many leading questions. If you do ask a leading
question, offer it as an option rather than advocating a particular course
of action. Instead of recommending a certain action, ask, ‘If you did this,
what might happen?’”
When coaching:
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Always ask permission
to coach. For example, have a contract.
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Establish agreement
on where, when and how long you will coach -- even if it’s as informal as,
“Shall we take 10 minutes in the conference room now to see if we can get
you unstuck on this issue?”
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Involve the client in
designing the coaching process.
“When you allow
people to help design the process, it builds trust in the relationship and
allows you to follow the individual’s learning style,” explains Mura. “They
feel safer and become more open to being coached. More important, they buy
into the process and invest more of themselves in achieving the desired
outcome.”
Managing Risk in
Coaching Situations
On occasion,
coaching conversations can venture into areas so sensitive that the person
refuses to discuss the issue. For whatever reason, they feel the risk of
exploring the issue outweighs any potential gain they might derive from the
conversation. At those times, using a risk manager can help the person open
up to the issue and move forward with their personal growth.
"People avoid taking
risks for many reasons, the main one being a fear of consequences if
something goes wrong," says Niederman. "Yet, in order to grow, people
sometimes have to go places they haven't gone and do things they have never
done before. Most people won't venture outside their comfort zones without
some way to manage that risk."
To encourage people
to take risks in the coaching process, Niederman recommends the following
process:
1. Identify the
issue being avoided.
This step is not
always as simple as it seems. You may need to probe a bit to make sure you
have the right issue.
2. Identify the
risks associated with the issue.
Ask, "What are the
risks involved in discussing this issue? What might happen if we dig into
this a bit deeper?" Examples of perceived risks include:
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Fear of getting too
emotional (i.e., crying) in front of you
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Fear of
embarrassment
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Fear of losing face
(self-esteem)
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Fear of retribution
from the boss
"Each of these
represents a legitimate risk," notes Niederman, "but there could be more.
Make sure you get all the risks out in the open before moving on."
The second part of
this step involves honoring and validating the person's concerns. Never
minimize, discount or attempt to talk someone out of a risk. Instead, assume
that each risk is valid and treat it accordingly.
"No matter how
well-intentioned, responses like, ‘Oh, that's not such a big deal' or ‘What
would be so embarrassing about that?' do not help," explains Niederman. "The
person needs to know that you hear, understand and respect what they are
saying. The slightest hint of judgment on your part can cause them to shut
down."
3. Create a risk
manager.
Once you have
identified and acknowledged the risks, the next step involves creating a
"risk manager," a mutual agreement to remain hyper-alert to anything in the
conversation that heightens the risk and to take immediate action to
decrease that risk.
Start out by
inquiring about what might decrease the risk of talking about the issue. In
many cases, the person will say something like, "Just mentioning that this
feels risky has decreased the risk a bit. But it could rise again." You can
respond with, "Okay. If we decide to move forward with this conversation, we
could agree to stop it any time we feel an increase in the risk. Would that
work for you?"
If the person
agrees, you can then say, "What I'm hearing is that we need to stop the
conversation any time the risk begins to rise. I will count on you to let me
know when that happens. I, too, will closely monitor the risk level. If I
feel it increasing, I will stop the conversation and we can talk about it.
Will this work for you?" In most cases, the person will answer in the
affirmative.
"The process is fairly straightforward, but it requires your full
attention," states Niederman. "The person agrees to inform you when
something comes up in the conversation that increases their perception of
risk. You promise to stop the conversation at that point and explore what is
going on. Plus, you also agree to keep a close watch for any signs of
increased risk.
"Interestingly, the
difference between the risk and the awareness of the risk reveals a
lot more than the actual issue because it allows you to witness how the
person functions moment to moment in daily life. People make decisions based
on their experienced risk and degree of risk aversion. Once you understand
how this works, you have an important window into the person's
decision-making process."
4. Address the issue.
By now, the person
should be ready to discuss the issue, at which point you use all the
standard coaching tools -- probing questions, active listening, paraphrasing
and repeating the emotionally charged phrases. Tune in very closely to where
the person is in the moment and where they appear to be going.
5. Manage any new risks that arise.
During the course of
discussing the issue, new risks may arise. If so, repeat steps two through
four.
6. Integrate the process.
To wrap up, assess
what took place during the discussion. Ask, "What have we
learned/accomplished today and where should we go from here? What is our
next step?" Then ask the person to commit to one action that will further
the process of getting to where he or she wants to go.
"Managing risk is
situational," explains Bob. "This process works because it helps the person
identify what would make the risk more manageable in the moment. One way to
manage that risk is simply to call a halt to the process. Before diving into
the issue, create the awareness that it's okay to stop the conversation and
then get agreement that either one of you can call time out if things get
too stressful.
"Once the person feels
like most of the risk has been removed, they will almost always engage in
conversation about the issue. In many cases, they experience a great sense
of relief to finally get things out in the open. You still have to step
carefully because risk can rear its head at any time. But once you have the
issue out on the table, you can use all your coaching skills to help the
person process it and move forward to resolution."
Created for Vistage. Copyright 2000-2007, Vistage
International.
All rights reserved.
"Coaching Conversation" is the copyright of
Corporate Coach University/Coach Works.
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